I have to do this. I just have to. Re: The JooJoo.

Ten years ago, “Internet Appliances” were all the hype rage. They were going to save us from PC’s. They were going to be small, connected devices we could use to check email, surf, etc. Your -fridge- was going to be a docking station for the pad. (Yes, there were even fully functional prototype / test versions built…)

And then it all went *poof*. No one really wanted it… in that form factor.

Ten years later, people are still touting the “tablet”. The idea of a ‘web pad’ or, perhaps, ‘CrunchPad’, or dare I say — JooJoo is being lofted highly by speculative morons who don’t read history.

I present evidence:

Comdex 2000 — BeIA web pads.

Yes, that was 10 years ago people. The things were booting straight to a browser (Opera 4 based), sported USB ports, WiFi, and… it was a tablet.

These little baddies were the centerpiece of a bet-the-company strategy from Be.

I’ve always said that technology wise, Be was 10 years ahead of it’s time. In the OS sector, that was spot on. It took 10 years for OS X and Windows to finally start catching up and implementing features BeOS had in 1996. If tablets finally do take off in the next year or so, they’ll prove me right yet again.

And if they don’t, they’ll prove just how stupid the BeIA move really was… 10 years ago, most people were still using modems. 33.6kbs was the norm, 56k was good, and DSL and Cable were just coming onto the massively available (but expensive) scene. Now that we have ubiquitous mobile broadband, some morons are quick to bring up the idea that tablest and web pads might make sense again.

To those who think tablets with WiFi will be a huge market / growth sector, all I have to say is: You are rock stupid.

Mobile (dare I suffix this with ‘phone’) devices have cannibalized the market. In 2001 I remember telling my parents, “Think about it. In a few years you’ll be streaming video to your phone in the mountains.” I got looked at like I was crazy. In an alternate universe that may have been a Palm manufactured device running BeIA by 2003. In reality it’s taken a bit longer, but we’re there now. The idea that a larger, less portable, less feature-full, more expensive device is somehow going to usurp the small, pocket-able mobile is not just absurd — it’s retarded.

Sure, I’d love to have a decent surfing device that’s small and light and looks decent on a coffee table. But face it, that’s more likely to be something like the Always Innovating TouchBook than a tablet right now. And if I’m dropping $300 on a device, why not just go ahead and pony up for the monthly service fee of an iPhone or a Droid and get that connectivity -anywhere-? Duh.

Tablets like the CrunchPad (errr, JooJoo) or the BeIA Qbit tabs of old are a neat idea, but the engineering issues of small, light, good battery life, and responsiveness (oh, and the ridiculous use of x86 processors in such devices)  dictate a high price tag. The TouchBook is -close-. But to get hold-outs like myself to pony up for a device like this, it’s got to hit the $200 – $250 price point, and have -no- subscription fee necessary (802.11 WiFi) for operation. Until that device comes along, none of these will succeed, and the companies that attempt to bring them to market will face the same certain fate as Qubit, Be, and the myriad of other companies that had VC and Angel Investors falling all over themselves in 2000. Epic FAIL.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 7th, 2009 at 2:41 pm and is filed under Bad Idea, Core Dump, Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.